Relax, its the weekend, just dont blink or it will be all over. No No NOYes. These kinds of things just come with the territory if youre trying to live a meaningful life. You can't wait for inspiration. 142. 61. When life closes a door, just open it again. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Affirmations to wealth are a great way for you to organize your thoughts and develop a positive outlook. Don't forget to be awesome. Laughter has always been lauded for its therapeutic effects. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. Alright, get in the basket.. It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, 9. It is, therefore, safe to say that, sense of humor can help you become successful in whatever you choose to do in life. 115. 252. Never let your best friends get lonely, keep disturbing them. 260. I am transforming into someone who is outgoing and makes others laugh. 215. I am happy and joyful. I have no time to worry; I have to be awesome. All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. Discover funny affirmations 's popular videos | TikTok 170. I dont know, but the flag is a big plus. 266. My mom scolds me for no reason. How do trees access the internet? Allow your body to absorb the positivity of your words by repeating them to yourself. Positive Affirmations And Inspiring Quotes About Life Life is filled with highs and lows, sometimes, we need some inspirational quotes to help us overcome challenges of life and offer guidance to us. Laughter brings me closer to people. Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet, miss a car payment. To the guy who created imaginary numbers in math: I hate you. Its a door, thats how they work. Roy Lichtenstein. 114. 154 Short, Positive Affirmations that are Easy to Remember. 1. Im not lazy, Im on power saving mode. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. Im so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. 1. You may hear crickets when you try to tell a joke. Smile today, tomorrow could be worse. I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it. Dont make me laugh, Im trying to be mad at you. 46. My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. I dont need a psychologist to dig into my personal life and ask me about all of my secrets, thats what my friends are for!, 13. Jackie Collins, 240. If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut. Milton Berle Jonathan lockwood huie. Without further ado, lets look at 20 funny affirmations to build your self-esteem. They log in. - Billie Burke. I used to have winter fat but now I have spring rolls. Its alright if you dont agree with me, I cant force you to be right. It just plain forms. 137. Are these genes in your jeans or are you just happy to see me? If Cinderellas shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? 145. This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed. If you have crazy friends you have everything youll ever need. 111. 19. I thought you said extra fries. 205. I am the sunshine even when its gloomy outside. Relax, its the weekend, just dont blink or it will be all over. They make you change without hurting your self-esteem. Those who snore always fall asleep first. I am intelligent. 75. 24. 151. I wish my wallet came with free refills. Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas. I am attractive just as I am. Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter; people the opposite. 248. Get help beating negative thinking by reciting positive affirmation every day. 85 Funny Wednesday Quotes, Sayings, Pics, and Images - The Random Vibez The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. 108. 208. 197. Stressed spelled backward is desserts. A wishbone. Need to send some positive energy your way? You can write them down and use them whenever you're attending a social event or if you simply just want to make yourself laugh. Dont give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer. 32. What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? I wasnt mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if Im mad.. yes, Im mad! I only check my voicemail to get rid of the annoying little icon. Dont let anything or anyone stop you from achieving what you truly aspire. 155. 20 Most Powerful Affirmations Because Thoughts Become Things I am passing all the things and hardships with a smile. 89. Bill Murray Sorry, I didnt pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. Then you stand in front of the mirror, take a deep breath in, open your mouthwait, this is funny. I tell you what always catches my eye. Confidence makes me powerful. Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? ~ Bill Gates. I am on a seafood diet. Walter Bagehot 249. East Never judge a book by its movie. Sarcasm is a tool of highly intelligent people and if you're one of them (I bet you are), you're going to love these funny affirmations that are filled with humor and sarcasm.I'm sure you've heard a lot about affirmations, what they do and why you should start using them daily.They are a powerful to. I might go home today, but I will go bigger tomorrow. He who wakes up early, yawns all day long. Or maybe, you just love cracking jokes and making people laugh. 5. 176. Let me gather my thoughts and crush this Monday., 15. Absorb these 41 positive quotes and positive affirmations and start feeling positive now! A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. 9. The most important thing to remember when using positive affirmations is that it is all about how you feel. I will be the type of person I would like my children to become. Snowballs. 136. Sorry, I didnt pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. 62. So with that being said, heres a list of funny affirmations to motivate you to come out of your comedic shell. Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when Im with you. 231. Make the statements about yourself and for yourself. If the funny affirmations that Ive put together dont break your cool, then feel free to throw on a comedy special on Netflix or Youtube when you feel stressed. The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. A wishbone. Here are the 200 best sarcastic quotes, from funny comments, sayings, and phrases dripping with snarky sarcasm. 7. 12. After all, laughter is a universal way to express yourself. 25 Daily Mantras For Positive Thinking | Positive Creators Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late. You can make friends and have good relationships if you believe in your sense of humor and fill your mind with funny and positive thoughts. 20. Good morning! I am lazy till I get a motive. Bill Murray. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. Sam Levenson. 7. Affirmations are a great way to change your mindset. I dont think thats a coincidence., 3. 45. 270. I cant make everyone happy, Im not tequila. 119. You were too lazy to read that number. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. 4. Positive affirmations aren't about tricking kids into mentally looking at life with eyes that only see what they want to see. I wonder, do we lazy people go to heaven or do they send someone to pick us up? 67. 125. I will tell the negative voice inside my head to shut up. I get it nowIm single because Im a superhero., See also: 140 Single Quotes For Instagram Celebrating Single Life. Any text will do. My to-do list doesnt include dealing with negative people. 170. Bill Murray No matter how bad it gets Im always rich when I go to the dollar store. First, the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me. I focus on breathing and grounding myself. 233. 192. Because seven ate nine. Short Funny Affirmations - Finally, I'm Revealing My Secret Today, I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. 2. It equates "weight loss" with thoughts like: I can. In life, sometimes you just need to break the tension with a little humor. 140. 35. 105. It's why you may feel excinervous (aka excited and nervous at the same time). Next up is a collection of funny affirmations that will make you love yourself more. Pleasing everyone, thats impossible. My sense of humor makes the world a better place., 8. 139. Take a dose of encouragement from your positive affirmations whenever youre feeling down. 245. So, here's our compilation of funny work quotes that are perfect for every workplace: Image Source: Unsplash. 1. Revenge sounds so mean, thats why I prefer to call it Returning the favor.. Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. It gets toad away. 30. Pat Sajak, 41. And a funny bone. Explore the latest videos from hashtags: #affirmations, #affirmation, #funnyaffirmation, #dailyaffirmations, #affirmationsoftheday, # . 230. If at first, you dont succeed, so much for skydiving. 169. 100+ weird quotes that make no sense at all but are funny 53. Youre talking to yourself. All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. Yes, of course, I am athletic, I surf the Internet every day. 77. Friday Affirmations. 141. Life is filled with highs and lows, stress and anxiety, so sometimes some funny and positive words will help you lighten up on an encouraging note. 88. Giving up on your goal because of one setback is like slashing your other three tires because you got a flat., 6. God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. Emphasis on the cool. 10. 211. 162. When our phones fall, we panic; but when our friends fall, we laugh. 270. When you leave work on Friday, leave work. I can believe in myself for 5 minutes., 2. "A moment of patience in a moment of anger saves you a hundred moments of regret. I enjoy every minute of it. Whether its at other people or at ourselves, its good to laugh in life. 6. 39 funny positive affirmations. 176. Why did the can crusher quit his job? If the funny affirmations that Ive put together dont break your cool, then feel free to throw on a comedy special on Netflix or Youtube when you feel stressed. Take a look! You can tune a guitar, but you cant tuna fish. My six pack is protected by a layer of fat. 215. 238. Batwoman: single. Making everyone angry, piece of cake. Sometimes when I close my eyes, I cant see. I can do this. How do trees access the internet? 48. The early bird catches the worm, eats more and dies sooner. A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours. My goal this weekend is to move, just enough so people dont think Im dead. Microchips. 227. 239. Helen Giangregorio. Be like a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet from the inside., 11. Related Post: 201 Awesome Short Inspirational Quotes About Life. Why was six scared of seven? My cankles will hold me. What is the tallest building in the entire world? Positive affirmations are a longstanding practice for those of us who need a little extra daily encouragement, and the best part isthey're free and they're flexible! 168. Ive been doing nothing for years. Short Positive Affirmations - 110 Powerful Affirmations - Mindbless 'If you would like to know the value of money, try to borrow some.'. I make a difference by showing up fully. If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? 249. 103. Youre basically a houseplant with complicated emotions., 11. Lifes biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I dont want to get out of bed. After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F. 204. Sarcasm is a tool of highly intelligent people and if youre one of them (I bet you are), youre going to love these funny affirmations that are filled with humor and sarcasm. Im sorry that Im not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Its scary when it disappears. Use them as a tool to boost your self-esteem and productivity, as well as to overcome procrastination and complete all assigned tasks. Still, you need to embrace each of these surprises with same positive conviction and appreciation. Laughter can help you see the humor in otherwise grim situations. Why couldnt the leopard play hide and seek? Jackie Collins Amidst all the stress, anxiety and worries, a smile can help you brighten your day. Youre just gonna feel embarrassed for a minute or two and then it will be over. 179. Below youll find a collection of funny affirmations for work that will help you stay motivated and fight the work stress more efficiently. Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math. 225. 4. I will drink my coffee and conquer my day. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? 99. Then perhaps youd find value in these articles on how to write affirmations and the benefits of affirmations. These kinds of things just come with the territory if youre trying to live a meaningful life. 269. I try to see the funny side of every situation., 3. Its okay, he woke up. They planet. 223. Paul Ehrlich, 241. Because their teacher told them it was a piece of cake. Short Positive Affirmations "I Am" Affirmations. I heard a great joke about amnesia but I forgot it. "Today will be a great day". I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. I'm a peli-can! How can you not like someone who can make you laugh? Daily affirmation: your hair is so much better than it was in middle school., 2. Im not running away from hard work, Im too lazy to run. We need to hear a pin drop. Im sorry that Im not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. "I make people laugh, whether it's with me or at me.". The rhythm of the weekend, with its birth, its planned gaieties, and its announced end, followed the rhythm of life and was a substitute for it. They shape our present and have an impact on our future. 41 Positive Affirmations & Positive Quotes To Treasure Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. I may not know karate, but I know crazy and Im not afraid to use it. Best friends eat your food. Sincerely, the floor. 275. Sam Levenson If I am willing to go back to bed when I wake up, I will go and make up the bed. Sometimes these surprises are way too spectacular and sometimes way too tragic.