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and may you find joy and peace Absolutely hillarious retirement one liners. Officer: No, I am an undercover detective. Tourist: So, why are you in uniform? Officer: Today is my day off.. 27. Jelly, powdered, glazed, and chocolate frosted. Retired. Unknown, People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou, I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. "The 50 Funniest Quotes about Retirement, via, https://www.curatedquotes.com/funny-retirement-quotes/. Plan the celebration with a personalized retirement plaque. He had them stumped. - Malcolm Forbes. 500 matching entries found. Funny retirement cake sayings are always a big hit (though not always appropriate for a workplace event). Arthur E. Morgan, Before you speak, listen. Know what you own, and know why you own it. Anonymous Antoine de Saint Exupery, In preparing for battle, I have found that plans are useless, but planning indispensable. Soni "It is better to live rich than to die rich." - Samuel Johnson Take us with you! General Letter Board or Cake Sayings for . Law enforcement officer retirement quotes are always inspiring, our samples are uplifting and warm but you can customize your gift plaque with any quote you choose. See top 10 retirement one liners. 62. What happened? The best funny retirement wishes for coworkers and colleagues include: The days of 9-5 are past! The goal of retirement is to live off your assets, not on them. They said he was a real pro for a first offender. Show me a sample retirement speech! Gene Perret, "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. Youll Laugh (or Cry) When You Read These Famous Quotations About Retirement. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! Ward, Always have a plan, and belive in it. 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Stephen Covey 47 Likes Police quotes Safety quotes Community quotes 29. After 5 hours sitting in the bar, a man was in no shape to drive, wisely left his car parked and walked home. Do I lose when the police officer says papers and I say scissors? 1. 6. "Won't You Celebrate with Me" by Lucille Clifton It's time to celebrate with loved ones. vision, and trust you instill in us! Retiring State Trooper Gilbert K. Chesterton, Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their companies should foot the bill. Your email address will not be published. To me a job is an invasion of privacy." The juicy bit of gossip everybody's been mouthing is that I'm going to retire. My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind. I got a call from the police station saying they want to interview me. Happy retirement.". J. Lubbock, You have to put off being young until you can retire. People worry so much about aging, but you look younger if you dont worry about it. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time. Poke fun at the retiree or help them to revel in the fact they're retiring and everyone else isn't with these funny sayings. Need some retirement card ideas for your co-worker? 48. Danny McGoorty"My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii." Confucius, Retirement is not the end of the road. Capitalize on what comes. Nothing happens by accident. We strongly recommend that you seek the advice of a financial Jerry Seinfeld, "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. picclick.com. Police departments should continue to hire individuals of the highest possible character, so that young people look at the police in their cities and towns and say, "I want to be like that." "I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. 49 Police retirement Poems ranked in order of popularity and relevancy. I did not write the law. Find GIFs with the latest and newest hashtags! I'm Retired. Retirement is just a never ending vacation. Larry Laser, "Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of these is work." You have always dreamed of concentrating on your own project. There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Take Us With You! When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." Soren Kierkegaard, To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization , and at present very few people have reached this level. We collect and curate only the best quotes, and display them in a clutter free, aesthetic list. Funny retirement sayings and quotes. Honoring Years of Dedicated Public Service, To A Retiring DHS Officer / Senior Leader. Add some lighthearted sarcasm and entertaining tidbits by drawing on famous retirement quotes and sayings from comedic characters, Marvel heroes, favorite reality stars, and more: Bowery King: "You're not very good at retiring. Police say they have nothing to go on. to the New York Police Department. "Half our life is spent trying to find . Funny Retirement Quotes. If you give one of these to a colleague, friend, or family member that is looking forward to retirement, it will surely help you communicate your appreciation. When a career marked by life on the beat winds to a close, mere celebration isnt enough. The police caught a person erasing peoples criminal records. Peter Lynch. I feel as light as a feather. Javier Perez De Cuellar, Happiness is being like you retired! Catherine Pulsifer, The moneys no better in retirement but the hours are. Unknown, Retirement is when you stop living at work and begin working at living. Unknown, Retirement itself is the best gift. To return Click Here. Officer: "I have to give you a ticket for not wearing your glasses." Driver: "Officer, I have contacts." Officer: "I don't care who you know, you're still getting a ticket." New England Patriots/Giphy 31. Police retirement is something special. It is better to live rich than to die rich. Enjoy your freedom! Join us on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. When Can I Retire?, and Whats My Retirement Income. We wish you the best retirement possible. 2. different scenarios on retirement income. A personalized best wishes and inspirational quote is an ideal way to honor the retiring police officer who spent his or her lifetime protecting and serving the community. Well done on Crossing the Bridge you now can just sit and relax. Retirement is not impossible, get ahead with these tips to get ready! Here's a nice variety of rhyming retirement poems that you may share with someone that is about to retire or has recently retired. The police are the public and the public are the police; the police being only members of the public who are paid to give full time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen in the interests of community welfare and existence. Inspirational Retirement Quotes Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. Sheesh, I thought you were the cop here., Perp: With my parents. Cop: Where do your parents live? Perp: With me. Cop: Where do you all live? Perp: Together. Cop: Where is your house? Perp: Next to my neighbors house. Cop: Where is your neighbors house. Perp: If I tell you, would you believe me? Cop: Tell me. Perp: Next to my house.. 19. C K. Spartan Police Theme Party Cop Party Lego Party Policeman Party Officer Party Police Officer 6th Birthday Parties Boy Birthday Birthday Ideas Police Birthday Invitation Printable by TwirlyDesigns on Etsy, $12.00 S Kim Childers Police Wife Life Police Family Enjoy your new 7 day weekend So here are some more great ideas for the boys (and girls) in blue! 25. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. 34. Susan Cain, It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. 11. You've done your hard time and now it's time to enjoy some freedom! Good Luck with Your Retirement which is going to haunt you. Tips On How To Save For Retirement Without A 401k, Best Places To Retire In Arizona 2020 | Retirement Communities, Memory Care Checklist: What To Ask & Look For, What is Memory Care? It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating. Some people can't wait for that Social Security or pension check to land in their mailboxes as they can head straight to the lake or mountains. Why did the coffee call the police? I guess he wants a rematch because hes been following me for about 45 minutes. The unique Forever Family Think Blue Line clip art re-emphasizes to the retiring officers that they are always part of the family forever, that fellow officers will always be there for them and support them. Congratulations! Ella Harris Before deciding to retire early. Steve Young, A retired husband is often a wifes full-time job. For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service When caught speeding, an airman on leave tried to talk an officer out of giving him a ticket. Financial peace isnt the acquisition of stuff. I can see a few of you look puzzled. Show your appreciation with unique quotes or personalized logos. Humorous quotes and messages. Bette Davis, "I need to retire from retirement." Max Asnas, Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. 11. Present This to You as a Symbol of We have now done so much for so long with so little, we are now capable of doing anything with nothing. You just stole my heart. Congratulations. The current institutionally provided retirement plans will not cover people's needs upon retirement. I didnt realize you were a cop.. Funny Quotes About Retirement "Age is an issue of mind over matter. Let him come out as I do, and bark. Now that leadership is gone. Thank you for all you've done and the legacy you've left for the next generation. If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. If you are searching for funny retirement quotes, this list is for you! Hi Pension. The rolling contract was designed to specifically take away some of that retirement talk and retirement issue. Sort: Relevant Newest # love # happy # work # job # greetings . Pennsylvania State Police Department Seal My friend was killed by a 2 ton sack of falling chickpeas. Have you been eating donuts?, 6. What are the cat police called? Unknown, Expect the best. William Shakespeare, Choose a work that you love and you wont have to work another day. How Much Do I Need?, Net Worth? Your guide to financial planning and retirement, Community R.C. The perfect crime was committed last night. What happens when a police officer goes to bed? This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting. Discover and share Police Funny Quotes About Retirement. Cato, For many people, being asked to solve their own retirement savings problems is like being asked to build their own cars. We, the members of the NYPD, present this to you in recognition of Website Design, Hosting, Maintenance & SEO by WebTechs.Net. Theres a man in the town whos stealing the wheels of police cars. To the People of the State of New York. So I went back to the charity shop and retrieved all her old clothes. Showering is Now Optional. The public are the police and the police are the public, and both share the same responsibility for community safety. Before cuffing the artist, he looked at the mural and said, Now that is bold.. Fred Rogers The best is yet to come! Hey Girl I'm Going To Retire Some Day Cheers To You Time To Come Out Of Retirement I Didn't Choose The Retired Life Did I Save Enough Money For Retirement Alcohol Retirement What Is This Retirement I Can't Wait To Retire What Do You Call A Person Who Is Happy On Monday Morning Retirement Here I Come I'm Late For Work Again Retiring Like A Boss Unknown, "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law." At PoemSearcher.com find thousands of poems categorized into thousands of categories. 12. What kind of dinosaur works for the police? If you dont mind, it doesnt matter. Mark Twain, Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay! Unknown, Retire from work, but not from life. M.K. A trisara-cop. "That's great!" says the doctor. A woman was speeding down the road and was pulled over by a female police officer. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Are you married to a police officer? All those years of working and now you can get back to acting like a child again! Finally a police car comes up. You will always have a home here. Robert Benchley, If people concentrated on the really important things in life, thered be a shortage of fishing poles. Judge: I thought I said that I never wanted to see you in here again., Criminal: Thats what I kept telling the arresting officer, but he wouldnt listen.. Unknown A retired husband is often a wife's full time job. We help. ~ Ernie Harwell. What are the four food groups for cops? Oh, how jealous I am of you You make me feel blue! for the rest of the department. Pinterest. Browse all famous retirement quotes below, or select a specific topic from this list: The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Its only my hat that makes me look that old.. Bruce Grocott, Sometimes its hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment. Explore the options below for sample police retirement quotes, sayings, best wishes and more. #6 Dear husband, good luck on your next adventure together with me! 13. The police told me they'd throw me in jail the next time they caught me stealing board games. Did you hear they arrested the Energizer bunny? Dwight D. Eisenhower, Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now. The money is no better in retirement but the hours are! quotesgram.com. You're no longer cuffed to a job. A Retired Husband Becomes A Wife's Full-Time Job. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. Why did the coffee call 911? If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." - Mark Twain "Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay!" - Unknown "Retire from work, but not from life." - M.K. 31. "Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.". I wish I can also retire right now so that I don't need to call anyone boss. Fitzhugh Dodson, NewRetirement Planner: The Best Way to Achieve a Secure Retirement, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. So if youre looking for inspiration, youve hit the mother lode. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Jonathan Clements, I have never liked working. more on this quote . Showing search results for funny police retirement sorted by relevance. The time now has come; the time is in your own hands. Here are 25 retirement quotes for the next phase of your life: Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. It's all lazy days from now on! Cop: Im going to follow you to the nearest police station. Me: What for? Cop: Ive forgotten the way. Tommy Cooper, Driver: No, officer, its Hi, how are you?'. We can no longer afford to scrap-pile people. We go. Funny retirement quotes for your boss. Money is only a tool. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Unknown, "I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box." Oliver Wendell Holmes, The best is yet to come! Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Sandra Day O'Connor, "I wanted to have more time to play and reflect, but I find retirement more stressful than having a nice, steady job because I have to make decisions about where I want to be." Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, Cessation of work is not accompanied by cessation of expenses. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. 39. Why did the police arrest the turkey? #5 To the man who has been my best friend for years, my partner in crime, and the love of my life, Happy Retirement! You Served Honestly, Faithfully and Woody Allen, I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. John Bogle, Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.